Negotiating to “Yes”
Confidence Is the Secret Weapon.
by Lee Miller
How many times have you ended up agreeing to do something that you didn’t really want to do—whether it was accepting a job offer, buying a particular car, or taking a vacation to a certain place with friends?
Many women have never been taught how to negotiate. But like driving, swimming, or skiing, it’s a skill you can learn. Women bring different strengths to negotiations than men do. Because different dynamics drive negotiations between men, between a man and a woman, or between women, what works for men doesn’t necessarily work for women.
Be Persuasive
The key to getting other people to agree to your thinking is to persuade them that your argument is based on an accurate understanding of the facts, is fair, and benefits both of you. But you need confidence to succeed at negotiation.
Here are some helpful tips:
| Tip 1: | Being able to win people over depends more on how you say things than on what you say. Whether selling an idea or asking for a promotion, speak with confidence.
|
| Tip 2: | Don’t view an offer as a decision that you must accept or reject. You always have the opportunity to negotiate. But to get something that you want, you need to set goals before you walk in the door.
|
| Tip 3: | Women are often better at negotiating for others than they are at negotiating for themselves. So every time you negotiate for yourself, think about how you’d negotiate for someone else.
|
| Tip 4: | Prepare by using a technique called “self talk.” Vocalize each reason you deserve what you’re asking for and make a convincing argument that will get others to see your point of view. You are your own toughest audience. Once you convince yourself, you will have no difficulty convincing everyone else. |
Once you master the art of negotiating, you’ll have the confidence you need to be successful. The only limits are those you place on yourself.
- Adapted from "A Woman’s Guide to Successful Negotiating" (McGraw Hill) by Lee E. Miller and Jessica Miller.
Lee Miller is the Managing Director of NegotiationPlus.com and is an expert in the area of Influencing and Negotiating. He is also the author of the highly acclaimed "UP: Influence Power and the U Perspective—The Art of Getting What You Want" (YCD Press).
